When Doing “All the Things” Still Feels Hard: A Love Letter to Your Nervous System

For anyone checking every wellness box — breathwork, nutrition, movement — yet wondering why stress still lingers at dawn.

The moment I realized it wasn’t about diets or discipline anymore — it was about healing the deeper pattern of “doing more” to be enough, and finding freedom in softness instead.

This morning, my Oura app gently told me what my body already knew: stress is humming in the background. I do the things—breathwork, meditation, nourishing food, movement, herbs, sleep care. I even skipped my usual fasted workout because I know my adrenals don’t love that right now.

And yet… the second I woke up, my body wanted to sprint.

If you’ve ever felt that—like you’re trying so hard to be well and some old part of you keeps hitting the panic button—this is for us.

Because here’s the truth I’m living into: I don’t need more control. I need more trust.

The story under the “health routines”

I grew up in a house where stress was the air we breathed. Maybe you did, too. So even with beautiful habits, there’s a deeper layer: the nervous system that learned safety = control, worthiness = doing more.

That’s why so much wellness advice can feel like a maze. Fast for longevity. Never fast if you’re stressed. Cut gluten forever. Don’t restrict anything. Lift heavy at 5 a.m. Sleep in and walk.

Who’s right?

Answer: Your body is.

What works for one person can keep another stuck in survival mode. I’ve played with fasting and discovered that long fasts push me into more stress. My sweet spot right now? A gentle 13–14 hour overnight window and no long, intense cardio before breakfast while my nervous system is recalibrating. That may shift later. The point isn’t the rule; it’s the relationship.

The reframe that’s changing everything

Instead of “I have to do more to be enough,” I’m practicing:

“My body already knows how to balance.My job is to listen, not punish.”

I still eat three grounded meals (and a cozy snack). I still move because I love how it feels to be in my body. I still adore high-quality, real food (hello, sourdough and sweet potatoes). But the energy is different. Less proving. More partnering.

And guess what? That evening sweet-tooth moment isn’t “bad.” Often it’s wisdom—your body asking for comfort, connection, or simply enough carbohydrates to feel safe for sleep. Some nights I answer with dark chocolate or my protein-yogurt “cookie dough.” No shame, just listening.

A message for anyone who needs it today

Beautiful one, your body is not your cage; it is your temple. You have not come here to master control, but to master trust. Let your meals be prayers, not projects. Let your movement be devotion, not duty. You are safe to be nourished. You are safe to thrive in softness.I will not betray you, the body whispers.I will hold you when you rest. I will rise with you when you play.

(If this lands, save it. Read it before meals or bedtime. We’re also making a mantra card you can print or keep on your phone.)

Practically speaking: what “enough” looks like (without the drama)

I promised myself I’d keep this simple. So here’s my gentle compass—not a diet, a dialogue:

• Eat regularly. Three meals, one snack if it feels good.

• Build plates like this: protein you enjoy + colorful plants + grounding carbs + a little fat.

• Move for joy. Walks, dancing, lifting, stretching—choose what helps you exhale.

• Micro-pause when the rush hits. One hand on heart, one on belly. Slow exhale and a soft hum. Whisper: “Safe now.”

If you love geeking out (same), personalize slowly: adjust your carb timing, play with that 13–14 hour overnight fast, explore how cycle phases affect you. One variable at a time. Curiosity over control.

For the mornings that feel “loud”

Here’s my two-minute “Body Trust Bridge”:

1. Before you check a device, touch a small object on your nightstand (candle, stone, photo).

2. Inhale through your nose for 4, exhale for 6–8 with a soft hum.

3. Say out loud: “Ease is medicine. I’m allowed to be.”

4. Ask your body: “What would feel kind first?” (Water? Breakfast? Sun on your face? Stretch?)

5. Do only that. Let it count.

This is how we teach our cells a new language of safety: one small mercy at a time.

The “New Contract” I’m making with my body

Feel free to borrow this and make it your own:

The Body Trust Contract

• I release the belief that control keeps me safe.

• I choose a partnership with my body today.

• My food is a prayer; my movement is devotion.

• I nourish consistently and rest without guilt.

• I listen for whispers before they become screams.

• I can be fit and free at the same time.

  
  

Sign it. Date it. Place it where your morning eyes can’t miss it.

If you’re doing all the things and still struggling

You’re not broken. You’re in a rewiring—and rewiring is messy. Keep the habits that honor you. Relieve yourself of the ones that spike your stress. Trade 10% of your “doing” for 10% more softness and watch how your body responds.

The work is not to become perfect. The work is to become present.

I want what you want: a body that thrives—not because we micromanaged her into submission, but because we loved her into safety.

If this speaks to you, tell me in the comments: What’s one tiny place you can trade control for trust today?

✨ A Glimpse of What’s Next

As I’ve been walking this path of softening control into trust, something new has been whispering to me… a program called Body Love.

It will be the first official offering I share from my heart — a space for us to explore together what it really means to honor our bodies as temples, not cages. To raise our vibration not by restriction, but by remembrance. To practice the very shift I’m making right now: trading control for trust, and punishment for devotion.

I don’t have all the details yet (and I love that, because it means it’s going to be created with you in real time). But consider this your first little wink from the universe that something tender and powerful is coming.